Letting go of things such as bad situations in the past can be helpful in the healing process. Feeling liberating, saying goodbye to toxic people, hurtful experiences, and realizing you don't have control over it all can bring a great sense of solise. But, when dealing with psychopathic personalities, "letting go" of what they have done can cost many more years of harassment and manipulation.
When two people love each other, they sometimes tend to let go of nasty things said during an argument for example. They may need to "play face" for a family event and quickly "shake it off" but these times of quick acting pile up and often cause people to snap. I write this today to point out the dangers of ignoring red flags within the relationship and letting go of abusive situations.
1.Cost of time. Time is precious. We can't buy it, sell it, create it, or anything of the such. When we brush off verbal, mental, emotional, even physical attacks, we are simply asking our abuser to waste more of our time. This happens in family relationships often. We feel obligated to let it go because they're our brother or sister and they are "family" but, if they respect you, this person will acknowledge the action done. Respect your boundaries and walk away if no one else will.
2. Others will treat you the same. If you don't demonstrate self respect in front of your opposite, people who see the relationship will then treat you in a similar matter. It sucks. Especially when they know you're being hurt but, the more outsiders see you "letting go" of horrific actions done to you, the more comfortable they are to commit even more horrific actions. Humbly demand your respect from everyone.
3. Higher risk for depression and anxiety. When we can no longer show protection for how we feel, we slip into lonlienes and possible depression. Letting go of a narcissist's comments and actions will keep you feeling like you're wrong when you're not. Some people even end up questioning themselves and their sanity since the internal fight of what's right vs what's wrong, will be a loud and tiring one. The intuition will continue to scream and when we continue to ignore it, we become unwell. With depression, it can lead us to slack at work, makes us tired, and often leads to attempt at suicide. Hold on and remember those actions when your abuser tries to come around again..... This will keep them away forever.
4. Your children may not trust you. I say this strictly based on experience. Although I have no children of my own, as an adult child to a victim of abuse, I lost trust a long time ago. When you don't stand your ground, year after year and continue to stay in the relationship, your children may end up feeling untrustworthy of you or resentful. They are suffering alongside you and want the toxicity to end. If they cant trust you to provide a healthy home, who can they trust in?
Having a personal relationship with a narcissistic personality is draining. So, it's easy to give in. Try your best and always try to seek help. Feel free to contact me if you need help finding resources. Mandyhomes17@gmail.com
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