When we first meet someone we tend to give them the benefit of a doubt in regards to who they say they are, what they do, and, so on. When this meeting turns into friendship, we ultimately hope to share loyalty, trust, and, honesty within the relationship. For a narcissist, this is also true but it's a factor they know how to use. With this naive interaction, a narcissist can lie their way into the hearts of plenty of new people and, they will also lie........about you. To achieve maximum destruction, a narcissist will build circle of supporters, modernly labeled "Flying Monkeys" to help him/her in their psychological warfare against their target(s). So, in order to out right attempt to ruin your life, the narc and his yes men will harass, sabotage, and, work hard to mentally kill you. And, it's even more unbearable when this team is made up by people you've known all your life.
If this ever happened to you, I know It's one of the most detrimental situations on earth. To have one person in charge of how everyone feels about you is horrifying especially when it's ran by your abuser. It is also heartbreaking to watch one, two, or three (or more!) people you've known for years, just walk away because a narcissist continues to lie about your actions. But, before we get into how to handle this, I want to get more in depth about these brainless minions
The phrase Flying Monkey stems from the novel/movie The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz where the Wicked Witch Of The West would send her flying monkeys to carry out her attacks. In real life, these "monkeys" are unintentionally manipulated into believing the slander attached to the victim which makes it easy to execute the evil plans of the narcissist. These attackers can be anyone who has fallen for the narcissist's fake persona including their own friends and, family as well as the victim's associates, all the way to authority figures who have been manipulated to side with the abuser. (Could you image a police officer being swindled by your narcissist and, having your children taken away? or getting you arrested and jailed? These situation REALLY happen.) Their tactics obviously include, gossip, spying, stalking, victim playing and blaming, cyber hacking, blatant harassment, and the list goes on. *Sigh* It's one huge sh*t show.
So, how do we handle this? What can we do now that we are unintentionally isolated because of deception and, hate?
From experience, the first thing I did was cry a million rivers (facts!). I explained myself over and, over to prove my truth but, their own belief always held more validity than what I showed to be true via my own actions which is extremely sad. But, after "giving up" I began educating myself and, the main thing I came to understand was All Of This Mess Is THEIR problem. So, here are a few things to consider when dealing with these ridiculous Flying Monkeys.
1.) It is not your fault that they are Sheep - Even though the pain endures, the lucky thing is, you don't have to be responsible for their lack of critical thinking. You can conclude, that the supporters of the narcissist, do not think or lead for themselves but, follow and, really........who needs friends like that? Behaving as Foot Soldiers and, carrying out the work of the narcissist displays their lack of integrity (which is actually one of the top attributes of leadership) So, like I said before, who needs that? Refuse to play their game and, no longer allow them in your life. (Especially not on social media.)
2.) Realize they've been brainwashed - They're being lied to and, used without even knowing it. Should they know better? Yes. But, you as a victim also didn't know you were dealing with a narcissist at first either. So, now, it's their unfortunate turn to dance with the narcissist. Although it can be hard to watch, you know time will pass and, true colors will be shown.
3.) Forefront The Truth - If the or these monkeys are close in proximity, such as family who live in the same home as you, keep the truth of the situation at the fore front of your mind when interacting. This keeps your emotions at bay and, helps logic run the show. The key is protection so, filter their remarks and remember, they don't know the truth and, perhaps will never be open to find out. Consider moving out of the home depending on the severity. If they're not so close, it's that much easier to keep yourself armed and, protected.
4.) Enjoy The Time Alone - The mental war fare has been draining and, now all you have is time. Your feelings may still be hurt, confused, you may possibly be depressed, or ridden with anxiety. Or, you may be ready for a new beginning, feeling alive with truth and, epiphany. Either way, time alone to analyze your life, mental, and, who you are without these people is crucial. Time in nature, time at a spa, time exploring your spirituality, exploring your sexuality, exploring new foods; enjoy this time to recuperate and, return to a safe and, sane place
5.) You may or may not be able to fix your reputation - Your reputation to these people does not matter. Speaking from experience, I spiraled into a full fledge depression because my flying monkeys extended their branches to outsiders and, succeeded in defaming my character. This went on for so many years that the made up character that was spoken about became it's own persona without me being involved (If you understand). But, something I had to remember was, not everyone cares about gossip. So being embarrassed or paranoid is pointless because everyone has their own life and, 9 times out of 10 are NOT worried about scandal. I'm sure they have enough of their own!
- Another thing to point out is, as of lately a lot celebrities are being outed for the sexual abuse they've engaged in in the past but, it's all allegations that we don't know are true or not. Many of these celebrities are losing endorsements and, other opportunities thanks to allegation itself. While, that shows proof of how a life can be ruined, the good thing here is that YOU'RE NOT A CELEBRITY. So, the whole world does not know about this dishonest representation of you. Although social media shaming can be sent to millions, you do not have an obligation as public figure to show your face and, give an explanation. What people know to be of your character is your reputation - so who gives a f**k if it's tarnished to broken, blind, evil, and close minded people? If you're currently going through this, what I'm saying can be hard to take in because lives can still be ruined celebrity or not but, the intensity is mental. If you believe things are ruined for you, they will be.
A flying monkey can be anywhere. But, that's only as long as your narcissist knows they can penetrate you. Check out my post on how to deflect your narcissist and, keep these personalities at bay ↬ http://thenarciol.blogspot.com/deflect-your-narcissist
References:
wiki.org/Flying_monkeys
If this ever happened to you, I know It's one of the most detrimental situations on earth. To have one person in charge of how everyone feels about you is horrifying especially when it's ran by your abuser. It is also heartbreaking to watch one, two, or three (or more!) people you've known for years, just walk away because a narcissist continues to lie about your actions. But, before we get into how to handle this, I want to get more in depth about these brainless minions
The phrase Flying Monkey stems from the novel/movie The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz where the Wicked Witch Of The West would send her flying monkeys to carry out her attacks. In real life, these "monkeys" are unintentionally manipulated into believing the slander attached to the victim which makes it easy to execute the evil plans of the narcissist. These attackers can be anyone who has fallen for the narcissist's fake persona including their own friends and, family as well as the victim's associates, all the way to authority figures who have been manipulated to side with the abuser. (Could you image a police officer being swindled by your narcissist and, having your children taken away? or getting you arrested and jailed? These situation REALLY happen.) Their tactics obviously include, gossip, spying, stalking, victim playing and blaming, cyber hacking, blatant harassment, and the list goes on. *Sigh* It's one huge sh*t show.
So, how do we handle this? What can we do now that we are unintentionally isolated because of deception and, hate?
From experience, the first thing I did was cry a million rivers (facts!). I explained myself over and, over to prove my truth but, their own belief always held more validity than what I showed to be true via my own actions which is extremely sad. But, after "giving up" I began educating myself and, the main thing I came to understand was All Of This Mess Is THEIR problem. So, here are a few things to consider when dealing with these ridiculous Flying Monkeys.
1.) It is not your fault that they are Sheep - Even though the pain endures, the lucky thing is, you don't have to be responsible for their lack of critical thinking. You can conclude, that the supporters of the narcissist, do not think or lead for themselves but, follow and, really........who needs friends like that? Behaving as Foot Soldiers and, carrying out the work of the narcissist displays their lack of integrity (which is actually one of the top attributes of leadership) So, like I said before, who needs that? Refuse to play their game and, no longer allow them in your life. (Especially not on social media.)
2.) Realize they've been brainwashed - They're being lied to and, used without even knowing it. Should they know better? Yes. But, you as a victim also didn't know you were dealing with a narcissist at first either. So, now, it's their unfortunate turn to dance with the narcissist. Although it can be hard to watch, you know time will pass and, true colors will be shown.
3.) Forefront The Truth - If the or these monkeys are close in proximity, such as family who live in the same home as you, keep the truth of the situation at the fore front of your mind when interacting. This keeps your emotions at bay and, helps logic run the show. The key is protection so, filter their remarks and remember, they don't know the truth and, perhaps will never be open to find out. Consider moving out of the home depending on the severity. If they're not so close, it's that much easier to keep yourself armed and, protected.
4.) Enjoy The Time Alone - The mental war fare has been draining and, now all you have is time. Your feelings may still be hurt, confused, you may possibly be depressed, or ridden with anxiety. Or, you may be ready for a new beginning, feeling alive with truth and, epiphany. Either way, time alone to analyze your life, mental, and, who you are without these people is crucial. Time in nature, time at a spa, time exploring your spirituality, exploring your sexuality, exploring new foods; enjoy this time to recuperate and, return to a safe and, sane place
5.) You may or may not be able to fix your reputation - Your reputation to these people does not matter. Speaking from experience, I spiraled into a full fledge depression because my flying monkeys extended their branches to outsiders and, succeeded in defaming my character. This went on for so many years that the made up character that was spoken about became it's own persona without me being involved (If you understand). But, something I had to remember was, not everyone cares about gossip. So being embarrassed or paranoid is pointless because everyone has their own life and, 9 times out of 10 are NOT worried about scandal. I'm sure they have enough of their own!
- Another thing to point out is, as of lately a lot celebrities are being outed for the sexual abuse they've engaged in in the past but, it's all allegations that we don't know are true or not. Many of these celebrities are losing endorsements and, other opportunities thanks to allegation itself. While, that shows proof of how a life can be ruined, the good thing here is that YOU'RE NOT A CELEBRITY. So, the whole world does not know about this dishonest representation of you. Although social media shaming can be sent to millions, you do not have an obligation as public figure to show your face and, give an explanation. What people know to be of your character is your reputation - so who gives a f**k if it's tarnished to broken, blind, evil, and close minded people? If you're currently going through this, what I'm saying can be hard to take in because lives can still be ruined celebrity or not but, the intensity is mental. If you believe things are ruined for you, they will be.
A flying monkey can be anywhere. But, that's only as long as your narcissist knows they can penetrate you. Check out my post on how to deflect your narcissist and, keep these personalities at bay ↬ http://thenarciol.blogspot.com/deflect-your-narcissist
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References:
wiki.org/Flying_monkeys
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