Hello readers! Happy New Year and thank you for choosing my blog today. I'm happy to be past the Holidays and very ready for the Spring. Can't wait for us get out of the house and into the healthy world so healing can continue. This post today is about helping outsiders understand the codependent personality in regards to a narcissistic led relationship. 💜
In this case of Narcissist and Codependent, the victim would be supporting and enabling the irresponsibility of the Narcissist's actions. After reading the definition, I couldn't help but to think of those relationships where one partner is constantly cooking for the other and enabling their addiction to food. They end up adjusting their life to the addict's every food need which also brings them joy. This person is an example of a CD. A Codependent person who finds worth in their ability to help even if it means enabling dangerous behavior.
Unfortunately, most CDs are disconnected inside. They do not have a high sense of self and are already broken. This insecurity leads them to become obsessed with the person they are currently dating. They want to please don't tend to them only and never the self. Due to a lack of trust, they tend to be controlling and, maintain responsibility for all tasks. They also take responsibility for their partner's actions and accept a false liability of the relationship's problems. The CD also acts as if they are feeling ok while they hold feelings of anger, resentment, and, weakness. Basically, the victim, suffering from their own issues, is a bundle of vulnerability. The perfect prey for a narcissist.
So, how does a CD enable the Narcissist's behaviors? As a natural follower, the sacrificing aspect of a codependent personality is consumed with the needs and desires of their partner; Narcissistic or not. This trait makes the selfish, controlling, and self-centered Narcissist a perfect match as he will now exploit their fragility. For example, when the narc looses his self control in an angry rage, he knows the manipulated CD will assume responsibility for him. She will apologize and clean up the mess he caused. Because of this, accountability and change is no longer an option to the abuser. Leaving the vicious cycle to continue. In all, A CD enables abusive behaviors by giving so much of themselves to their offender that all he can do is take, take, take (something he is always happy to do)......
When we are on the outside of a romantic relationship as such, we always ask ourselves:
While studying more about Narcissism and relationships, I learned about the term Codependent. It's a personality trait many victims of Narcissistic abuse obtain. In a relationship, its defined as:
"A type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement."
In this case of Narcissist and Codependent, the victim would be supporting and enabling the irresponsibility of the Narcissist's actions. After reading the definition, I couldn't help but to think of those relationships where one partner is constantly cooking for the other and enabling their addiction to food. They end up adjusting their life to the addict's every food need which also brings them joy. This person is an example of a CD. A Codependent person who finds worth in their ability to help even if it means enabling dangerous behavior.
Unfortunately, most CDs are disconnected inside. They do not have a high sense of self and are already broken. This insecurity leads them to become obsessed with the person they are currently dating. They want to please don't tend to them only and never the self. Due to a lack of trust, they tend to be controlling and, maintain responsibility for all tasks. They also take responsibility for their partner's actions and accept a false liability of the relationship's problems. The CD also acts as if they are feeling ok while they hold feelings of anger, resentment, and, weakness. Basically, the victim, suffering from their own issues, is a bundle of vulnerability. The perfect prey for a narcissist.
So, how does a CD enable the Narcissist's behaviors? As a natural follower, the sacrificing aspect of a codependent personality is consumed with the needs and desires of their partner; Narcissistic or not. This trait makes the selfish, controlling, and self-centered Narcissist a perfect match as he will now exploit their fragility. For example, when the narc looses his self control in an angry rage, he knows the manipulated CD will assume responsibility for him. She will apologize and clean up the mess he caused. Because of this, accountability and change is no longer an option to the abuser. Leaving the vicious cycle to continue. In all, A CD enables abusive behaviors by giving so much of themselves to their offender that all he can do is take, take, take (something he is always happy to do)......
When we are on the outside of a romantic relationship as such, we always ask ourselves:
"Why don't they just leave?'
"Why are they dealing with this?"
"I'd never allow anyone to treat me that way"
We consider them weak and become annoyed at how attentive they are to their partners demands.
But, we never take into account that they are victims of manipulative emotional control......and have a legit explanation for it:
1.) Many victims come from dysfunctional households that drew the blueprint for their future codependency. Growing up in a narcissistic and, debilitated home left them more likely to engage in abusive relationships. They were primed through emotional tactics and grooming as children and, became CDs at a young age. Until they heal, they will always attract a narcissist.
2.) With this grooming, both narcissistic parents and partners, help their victim's to fall prey. Grooming or To Groom means to prepare or train someone for a specific reason or activity. In our scenario, the Narcissist covertly teaches his victim (the someone) how to behave (the reason/activity).
3.) To achieve it effectively, this "grooming" stage usually starts with a "Bait And Switch" technique called "Love Bombing". Love Bombing is actually an attempt to influence a person through use of attention and affection. With romance, manipulation should never be a factor. Through Love Bombing our abuser showers it's victim with love, kind words, flattery, and, praise to persuade their partner to fill their requests.
4.) Along with Love Bombing, the narcissist will also utilize Intermittent Reinforcement to create confusion and insecurity within the victim. In psychology, it's defined as a malicious pattern of apathetic treatment mixed with periodic affection. A very easy and, self explanatory system of abuse. At this point, some victims may step back and, realize what is being done. They may see these red flags and, may possibly make a conscious effort to leave but, narcissists will push. Once the narcissist sees that their victim is smart, they implement another dangerous approach called........
5.) Gas Lighting. Now this term, I've heard a numerous amount of times. It's one of the narcissist's favorite weapons and it's described as an attempt to cause the victim to second guess or question their reasoning. Especially when the logic is that of a safe and self loving stand point. The abuser wants to control the thinking by causing them to doubt their intuition, doubt the reality of the relationship and, what the victim clearly sees.
So, now we have a better understanding as to why they just can't "leave". As a romantic partner, how can one flee from this control? The victim and the enemy may share the same bed, children, finances, car, and home. How will one just up and leave in that moment? The mind control this perpetrator has on the naive codependent is cold and, evil. We can sympathize with these victims since we know they did not do this but, the good news is they can in fact remove this major problem and stop attracting this breed of wickedness.
Although I've only scratched the surface, we now have a better understanding of what a codependent in a narcissistic relationship is, how they are mentally manipulated, and how a narcissist works it's magic. I hope I helped those on the outside understand a little bit more about the codependent personality and, how it ends up in the narcissistic trap. If you are looking to help a loved one you believe are being abused, please contact your local domestic violence organization. They can help guide you in the steps needed to help. Remember, they help everyone, not just those suffering from physical abuse.
Thanks for reading. My name is Amanda Salas and I am responsible for writing this blog.
"Why are they dealing with this?"
"I'd never allow anyone to treat me that way"
We consider them weak and become annoyed at how attentive they are to their partners demands.
But, we never take into account that they are victims of manipulative emotional control......and have a legit explanation for it:
1.) Many victims come from dysfunctional households that drew the blueprint for their future codependency. Growing up in a narcissistic and, debilitated home left them more likely to engage in abusive relationships. They were primed through emotional tactics and grooming as children and, became CDs at a young age. Until they heal, they will always attract a narcissist.
2.) With this grooming, both narcissistic parents and partners, help their victim's to fall prey. Grooming or To Groom means to prepare or train someone for a specific reason or activity. In our scenario, the Narcissist covertly teaches his victim (the someone) how to behave (the reason/activity).
3.) To achieve it effectively, this "grooming" stage usually starts with a "Bait And Switch" technique called "Love Bombing". Love Bombing is actually an attempt to influence a person through use of attention and affection. With romance, manipulation should never be a factor. Through Love Bombing our abuser showers it's victim with love, kind words, flattery, and, praise to persuade their partner to fill their requests.
4.) Along with Love Bombing, the narcissist will also utilize Intermittent Reinforcement to create confusion and insecurity within the victim. In psychology, it's defined as a malicious pattern of apathetic treatment mixed with periodic affection. A very easy and, self explanatory system of abuse. At this point, some victims may step back and, realize what is being done. They may see these red flags and, may possibly make a conscious effort to leave but, narcissists will push. Once the narcissist sees that their victim is smart, they implement another dangerous approach called........
5.) Gas Lighting. Now this term, I've heard a numerous amount of times. It's one of the narcissist's favorite weapons and it's described as an attempt to cause the victim to second guess or question their reasoning. Especially when the logic is that of a safe and self loving stand point. The abuser wants to control the thinking by causing them to doubt their intuition, doubt the reality of the relationship and, what the victim clearly sees.
So, now we have a better understanding as to why they just can't "leave". As a romantic partner, how can one flee from this control? The victim and the enemy may share the same bed, children, finances, car, and home. How will one just up and leave in that moment? The mind control this perpetrator has on the naive codependent is cold and, evil. We can sympathize with these victims since we know they did not do this but, the good news is they can in fact remove this major problem and stop attracting this breed of wickedness.
Although I've only scratched the surface, we now have a better understanding of what a codependent in a narcissistic relationship is, how they are mentally manipulated, and how a narcissist works it's magic. I hope I helped those on the outside understand a little bit more about the codependent personality and, how it ends up in the narcissistic trap. If you are looking to help a loved one you believe are being abused, please contact your local domestic violence organization. They can help guide you in the steps needed to help. Remember, they help everyone, not just those suffering from physical abuse.
Thanks for reading. My name is Amanda Salas and I am responsible for writing this blog.
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