Hello! Thanks for reading today. It's the the 4th day of January and, I'm hoping 2018 has been a good, past few days for everyone thus far. 😊 In my last post, I tried to explain the what the codependent personality is and how it behaves while in a narcissistic relationship. Today, I want to help those ready for a peaceful new year and teach them how to ultimately SHUT THE DOOR on the Narcissist In Our Lives.
It's pesky. It's time consuming and, extremely tiring. That Narcissist who has had their grip for so long and, still holding on tight. It's now 2018 and, you're ready to have your life. Getting rid of a disruptive and, manipulating person in our lives seems easy. Don't answer their calls, don't respond to email, don't view texts. But, what happens when we live with our antagonist? Share kids with this person? Share finances or work alongside this person? We spend hours thinking, "do we play along in their game? Should we get revenge?" and still end up with no answer and the same question: How can we compromise until things get better?
How do we deal with our Narcissist until it's time to save money and, move out? Until the court date has passed, until we find a new job? Well, luckily, there tends to be simple solutions for even the biggest problems and, we can compromise by deflecting the narcissist's behavior. Here's How:
The Grey Rock Technique or GRT is a way to encourage a Narc (or a stalker, psychopath, etc) to lose interest in YOU (if you're ready). This is done by simply deflecting instead of reacting. I'll break it down. React means to respond to an influence while deflect means turn from a true course or straight line; or swerve. With deflection, the victim will now divert information instead of taking it in, allowing it to hurt them, then reacting. By applying GRT, you allow contact but respond with monotonous responses. Boring, one word replies or boring conversation like about laundry. This makes your Narcissist bored and, disinterested. Now, they MUST go elsewhere to feed their needs. As a victim this is one of the first steps in starving the life line both parties have created.
A good example of deflection is when dealing with a narcissist mother. When it comes to their daughters, nothing ever seems good enough. Never up to par. So, when daughter, Jan, organizes or cleans, the mother, Lisa, might begin to nag and say "I wouldn't have done it like that" or "You'll never keep a clean enough home" to express her disdain for Jan. To deflect Lisa's statement, Jan can simply reply "To each it's own" or "We can't all be perfect" in a relaxed and nice tone of voice. This leaves Lisa with minimal ammo and proof that Jan - is not interested.
If Jan had reacted with "This is why I don't invite you to my home, you have a problem with everything........" we all KNOW how long that argument may have continued. You want to end the typical cycle you and the abuser have.
To me, this diverting approach is actually very surprising because it works EFFECTIVELY. I praise this method personally, because before I knew there was a name for it, I had decided to use it against my narc and, within a day, they lost much interest in me. So, with my personal opinion, I hope my readers can take into consideration how much it works. I also hope those who want to take the steps towards freedom understand that although I know you will make it, the journey to freedom will be hard (but, that's for a whole different post.0 In the mean time, here are some IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER:
1.) Some Narcissists can become even more dangerous when they realize this rejection (deflection). It may come to them as a surprise and, infuriate them. Or, their ego may push them to walk away. Either way, this is the test of a lifetime for the victim as he/she must stay strong and continue self protection. Since it can be significantly detrimental to both parties, I advise putting the technique in place when and, where you are safe and, can find an easy escape. (If legal in your state, consider hiding a recording device)
2.) NEVER TELL your offender that you are deflecting. DO NOT TELL the offender that you are working on a way out of the relationship. DO NOT TELL THEM ABOUT GRT!!! Either it be parental, romantic, at work, DO NOT TELL them your plan! I can not stress this enough. The brainwashed codependent lives through their perpetrator. If they seek to be freed, they MUST keep this to themselves even if it means not telling their closest supporter. Do NOT allow your progress to be sabotaged! This is your life! Take back YOUR life! (Read the damn 48 Laws Of Power for once!)
3.) Make sure you are ready to no longer argue/fight/deal with this person again. Before you even implement GRT, you need to be in the proper mental space with room for healing and, advancement in your life. Are you sure this is what you want? Are you prepared for 100% less stress in your life? Are you sure you're not addicted to the drama? These are important things you have to ask yourself before choosing GRT or No Contact. You've come this far and, fully understand what is going on in the relationship, what a Narcissist is, how it's effecting you, their tactics, and so on. But, are you ready for the next step towards freedom? Do you know what life is without them? Think about your future.
4.) The last thing to remember is to DIAL 911 if you are in danger or Contact/Visit your Local Domestic Violence Organization when you are in trouble. Do note that these organizations help with all kinds of abuse, not just physical. So, if this is a domestic situation, go as soon as you can.
I hope this quick post will help you to consider GRT. It's a great technique that helps anyone avoid psychopathic personalities. Even if you are a reader but are not in the company of such damage, building this skill will be followed by more confidence, better emotional intelligence, and, the ability to keep parasites out of your life. Never be a target again............
Thanks for reading. My name is Amanda Salas and I am responsible for writing this blog. For more post like this follow me on Twitter @sekhmetisrah17 or here on Google.
"Although a grey rock is a boring item that gives zero stimulation, it's still a humble, piece of nature. I say, don't just use GRT but, become it. Become still and, feel the beauty of life in your natural state." - Amanda Salas
References:
Dictionary.com
https://lovefraud.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/
It's pesky. It's time consuming and, extremely tiring. That Narcissist who has had their grip for so long and, still holding on tight. It's now 2018 and, you're ready to have your life. Getting rid of a disruptive and, manipulating person in our lives seems easy. Don't answer their calls, don't respond to email, don't view texts. But, what happens when we live with our antagonist? Share kids with this person? Share finances or work alongside this person? We spend hours thinking, "do we play along in their game? Should we get revenge?" and still end up with no answer and the same question: How can we compromise until things get better?
How do we deal with our Narcissist until it's time to save money and, move out? Until the court date has passed, until we find a new job? Well, luckily, there tends to be simple solutions for even the biggest problems and, we can compromise by deflecting the narcissist's behavior. Here's How:
With The Grey Rock Technique
The Grey Rock Technique or GRT is a way to encourage a Narc (or a stalker, psychopath, etc) to lose interest in YOU (if you're ready). This is done by simply deflecting instead of reacting. I'll break it down. React means to respond to an influence while deflect means turn from a true course or straight line; or swerve. With deflection, the victim will now divert information instead of taking it in, allowing it to hurt them, then reacting. By applying GRT, you allow contact but respond with monotonous responses. Boring, one word replies or boring conversation like about laundry. This makes your Narcissist bored and, disinterested. Now, they MUST go elsewhere to feed their needs. As a victim this is one of the first steps in starving the life line both parties have created.
A good example of deflection is when dealing with a narcissist mother. When it comes to their daughters, nothing ever seems good enough. Never up to par. So, when daughter, Jan, organizes or cleans, the mother, Lisa, might begin to nag and say "I wouldn't have done it like that" or "You'll never keep a clean enough home" to express her disdain for Jan. To deflect Lisa's statement, Jan can simply reply "To each it's own" or "We can't all be perfect" in a relaxed and nice tone of voice. This leaves Lisa with minimal ammo and proof that Jan - is not interested.
If Jan had reacted with "This is why I don't invite you to my home, you have a problem with everything........" we all KNOW how long that argument may have continued. You want to end the typical cycle you and the abuser have.
To me, this diverting approach is actually very surprising because it works EFFECTIVELY. I praise this method personally, because before I knew there was a name for it, I had decided to use it against my narc and, within a day, they lost much interest in me. So, with my personal opinion, I hope my readers can take into consideration how much it works. I also hope those who want to take the steps towards freedom understand that although I know you will make it, the journey to freedom will be hard (but, that's for a whole different post.0 In the mean time, here are some IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER:
1.) Some Narcissists can become even more dangerous when they realize this rejection (deflection). It may come to them as a surprise and, infuriate them. Or, their ego may push them to walk away. Either way, this is the test of a lifetime for the victim as he/she must stay strong and continue self protection. Since it can be significantly detrimental to both parties, I advise putting the technique in place when and, where you are safe and, can find an easy escape. (If legal in your state, consider hiding a recording device)
2.) NEVER TELL your offender that you are deflecting. DO NOT TELL the offender that you are working on a way out of the relationship. DO NOT TELL THEM ABOUT GRT!!! Either it be parental, romantic, at work, DO NOT TELL them your plan! I can not stress this enough. The brainwashed codependent lives through their perpetrator. If they seek to be freed, they MUST keep this to themselves even if it means not telling their closest supporter. Do NOT allow your progress to be sabotaged! This is your life! Take back YOUR life! (Read the damn 48 Laws Of Power for once!)
4.) The last thing to remember is to DIAL 911 if you are in danger or Contact/Visit your Local Domestic Violence Organization when you are in trouble. Do note that these organizations help with all kinds of abuse, not just physical. So, if this is a domestic situation, go as soon as you can.
I hope this quick post will help you to consider GRT. It's a great technique that helps anyone avoid psychopathic personalities. Even if you are a reader but are not in the company of such damage, building this skill will be followed by more confidence, better emotional intelligence, and, the ability to keep parasites out of your life. Never be a target again............
Thanks for reading. My name is Amanda Salas and I am responsible for writing this blog. For more post like this follow me on Twitter @sekhmetisrah17 or here on Google.
"Although a grey rock is a boring item that gives zero stimulation, it's still a humble, piece of nature. I say, don't just use GRT but, become it. Become still and, feel the beauty of life in your natural state." - Amanda Salas
References:
Dictionary.com
https://lovefraud.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/
No comments:
Post a Comment