A New Perspective After Abuse: Quick Post

It's hard to admit but, as survivors of narcissism, we all attracted our abuser in some way, some how. Having characteristics like kindness, responsibility, and empathy called this predator towards us since they were looking for an "easy" entry. But, after all the drama and after we've gone no contact, moving no with our lives, it's difficult to choose who to be now. Of course we can be the same loving people, but this time around we need to be smarter and stronger.  

- Putting others before yourself may be something you've always done. Now, you need to put yourself first. If guilt keeps nagging your mind, understand it's a kind of self sabotage that will hold you back. Living a healthy, narcissistic - free life starts with your needs being met first.
     
                                   

- Being kind is a great attribute and I never want anyone to stop showing compassion. But, being assertive and respected is just as important. You are in control of you life. Show society the use of goodness and practicality, not naivety.

- The ability to forgive shows maturity but we need only to forgive those who have proved a change in actions. The Narcissist literally got away with hurting you in a million ways. Recognize those in your personal life who are deserving of forgiveness. (Because not everyone is!)

- Believing that every kind person you meet has the best intentions for you needs to go completely out the window. Narcissists prey on those who believe others are essentially good. They will “play face” at first introduction to lure you in then show their true colors once they see you’re willing to deal with them. Don’t allow this anymore. Screen every single person seeking a personal relationship with you to make sure you never deal with the emotional vampire again.

- That being said, if you are a powerful person (someone with a high status or influence) know that narcissists look for victims that will represent their image well. Of course the abuser is vain and looks for beautiful people with financial status. Protect your brand and as stated before, screen people attempting to come into your life. The Narcissist will create the image of a perfect, just as powerful partner to make you feel as if I’ve you met the perfect match…….then ruin everything you’ve built.

If you’re not at the stage of moving forward after abuse, still implement these behavioral tactics to keep your relationships safe. You never want to give the reins of life to just anyone, stay strong, keep yourself first and live a peaceful life after the narcissist.