Hello everyone. Im happy youve found yourself on this blog post today since Im so excited to touch on the topic of HEALING, my favorite part of ANY abuse. I made sure to take my time in writing this because just like any other aspect of narcissist abuse, it is extremely important. There is a world out there waiting for you and I cant wait for you to feel better.
I would like to start by saying, PLEASE seek professional help by a licensed therapist for the best results. Even if you can not afford it, there are resources in your area to utilize which help you begin to feel better. (Maybe i should make a post with those resources?)
So, finally, the rollercoaster is over. You've decided to leave/choose no contact/they left you/etc. But, now you're left shaken up and exhausted. You're confused, probably don't know what to do, tired, and doubting yourself. Here are a few ways to help you heal.....
1.) Realize & accept this new reality. The narcissist wore you out. So, though ending the relationship may feel like a relief at first, its expected to feel confused, depressed, anxious, lonely and broken after. You may pull back from people since you're suffering such grief and are not ready. Your feelings might be down but this is a great time to learn about Narcissist abuse, hear other people stories, connect, learn about personality types and have a logical understanding of what has happened. Articles and blogs like mine are all over the internet and youtube has a huge community dedicated to narcissist abuse. There are also real professionals with Youtube channels that focus on this kind of abuse. So, search the internet and learn as much as you can. This "new reality" can last from a few months to a few years but, do remember that this feeling wont last forever.
2.) Review the past. After learning about narcissist abuse, heal your emotions by going back to the situation and analyzing with this new, educated mindframe. Since what you thought was true (the relationship), was not, this evaluation is necessary for you to come to terms with what is really was (a psychotic personality problem). Now, you will understand your abuser belittled you out of selfishness instead of because "you deserved it" (which you didn't) Or that the fights started were because of their controling ways and not because you can't communicate, and so on. This will help lift that heavy feeling of guilt and self sabotage victims hold and practice. Its also a perfect point of reference incase you have to deal with a similar type of person in the future.
3.) Reinforce the fact that your abuser is indeed not normal. The most painful part of understanding narcissist abuse as a victim is knowing that the relationship had nothing to do with you but instead chose you as a victim. It simply 4 to you, not with you. And, the character's actions had no true reason behind it. You were a victim of a traumatic mind game that no mother or father ever warned us about. And, none of it was your fault. Remind yourself that these evil people do in fact exist and, your abuser was one of them. Reinforce that the outcome of the relationship was not your fault and do this daily.
3.) Reinforce the fact that your abuser is indeed not normal. The most painful part of understanding narcissist abuse as a victim is knowing that the relationship had nothing to do with you but instead chose you as a victim. It simply 4 to you, not with you. And, the character's actions had no true reason behind it. You were a victim of a traumatic mind game that no mother or father ever warned us about. And, none of it was your fault. Remind yourself that these evil people do in fact exist and, your abuser was one of them. Reinforce that the outcome of the relationship was not your fault and do this daily.
4.) Seek therapy. Again, seek professional help if possible. I say sign up as soon as possible. Even though you may have friends/family that support you, you may be suffering from anxiety, PTSD, depression, eating disorder or any other so seeking professional help you in get through and get back to a fullfilling life. They may also want to prescribe you medications to help you get by.
5.) Give yourself some time. No need to jump into going out and, spending money. Especially if your narcissist was financially abusive as well. Take as much time for self care while being realistic. Spend time alone for self love. Get to know yourself again and be gentle
6.) After the eye opening phase has passed, you may (or may not) feel encouraged to get back into the swing of things. Again, it can take us years to leave the realization stage so getting back into a routine is not expected so soon. But, if you would like to prepare to see the world as a beautiful place again, work on your confidence. Your abuser made you feel dumb, worthless, doubtful. Now that you know its not true, you are free feel strong, smart and sexy.
6.) After the eye opening phase has passed, you may (or may not) feel encouraged to get back into the swing of things. Again, it can take us years to leave the realization stage so getting back into a routine is not expected so soon. But, if you would like to prepare to see the world as a beautiful place again, work on your confidence. Your abuser made you feel dumb, worthless, doubtful. Now that you know its not true, you are free feel strong, smart and sexy.
Working on confidence, emotional intelligence, and interacting with people is helpful WHEN READY. Sure, you're scarred. Your new understanding of people is that they're psychotic, manipulative, evil but, healthy emotional intelligence helps you to think "not everyone is the same" and life will prove you that. Make sure to surround yourself with people who support you not toxic people who make you doubt yourself.
Either you feel "ready for the world" or not, you must follow through with your choice to no longer have this person in your life. If it be minimal contact because you have children with them, utilizing grey rock because you live with them or no contact AT ALL, it is up to YOU to keep your life caos free. For intance, if you choose no contact, you can not have a social media account this person can easily contact you on (or their friends and family). If you choose grey rock, you must be at peace at all times when deflecting. If you bend, you fail and, right back into the cycle you fall. That is why is is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to know when you are really ready.
Today, I want you to Google that therapist and start your healing. At the end of this post, I will include references and links to places that can help you get through this stressful time. Don't bother searching "How long will it take to heal" because we have no idea. Everyone is different and with anything in life, things take their time. All you can do is be kind to yourself. You deserve it.
Today, I want you to Google that therapist and start your healing. At the end of this post, I will include references and links to places that can help you get through this stressful time. Don't bother searching "How long will it take to heal" because we have no idea. Everyone is different and with anything in life, things take their time. All you can do is be kind to yourself. You deserve it.
Here are some links to help you out. Please leave a comment and tell me how you feel. Anything is welcomed as long as its kind. Follow me here on google or on twitter @ sekhmetisrah17
https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/life/n
Stages-of-healing-after-narcissistic-abuse
Video: Narcissist Abuse Recovery - What To Expect
Video: Signs That You Are Healing
https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/life/n
Stages-of-healing-after-narcissistic-abuse
Video: Narcissist Abuse Recovery - What To Expect
Video: Signs That You Are Healing
